Kim Kardashian recently told E! News she wants to go tit-for-tat with England's most famous secret agent. "I would love to be in a Bond film -- a Bond Girl," she said. "That would be the ultimate."
Booty Galore does have a nice ring to it. But to be a Bond Girl is no mean feat, as any serious 007 fan will tell you, Kim. Only the most confused members of our species could argue you don't possess the obvious qualities one must have. That's good. That's a start. But reducing steely men to mush with a mere wiggle is not enough -- just ask Britt Ekland (Mary Goodnight) or Denise Richards (Christmas Jones). After the jump, see the five actresses we'd love to see take on James Bond.
The trick for any aspiring Bond Girl is projecting intrigue onto the statuesque facade. It's not about getting Bond to trust you; it's about getting him to want to trust you. Your eyes must hold great beauty but a warning: Dangerous curves ahead! The only way for Bond to find out your secret -- which very likely will get you killed -- is to get closer. Yes, that kind of closer. So you have to make it so he needs to know your secret.
After all, Bond knows the closer he gets -- yes, still that kind of closer -- the more susceptible he becomes to love's gravitational pull. That, dear chap, is when fatal missteps are incurred, missions are jeopardized and monstrous space weapons nearly destroy earth.
Now, no woman can resist 007's charm, but anyone who steps into the iconic role must have a particularly strong resistance to suave martini-drinking spies. It's all about matching Bond, killer line for killer line. It should be a cage match between the brilliantly cagey. You're artful, never ditsy. Feisty, independent, handy with a fox-hunting rifle, competent with an explosive harpoon. You look absolutely great in ski clothes. And you know how to get down the mountain. You must steal all eyes at chateau receptions without trying.
Of course, that backless dress with the plunging neckline and a dangerously long slit up the side doesn't hurt. Now that we've clarified what it takes to be a great Bond Girl -- the kind history remembers -- here are the five actresses we think would fit the bill ... and the bikini.
Christina Hendricks
She's had her way with the suits on 'Mad Men' and attempted to diabolically seduce Nathan Fillion on 'Firefly.' Why not give this flaming-red supernova of sophisticated sex appeal a worthy challenge? Observe:
Brooklyn Decker
She should not be emerging out of the water in a bikini to greet Happy Gilmore. It's wrong. For the love of Honey Rider, we need this remedied with a Bond Girl appearance, stat. Unconvinced? Say no more:
Sofia Vergara
She will play mysterious Chilean beauty Mercedes Sass. She grew up a poor orphan, abandoned by her wealthy, brutal aristocratic father. Now she's the world's greatest assassin-for-hire. Best line: "Careful. I'll burn the roof of your mouth." Not sold? A Vergara primer:
Full Post Who Will Be The Next Bond Girl?
